Overweight again - and then murder plot thwarted

These airlines give me grief. As if it isn't bad enough removing shoes, belts etc to go through security, and generally being treated like a criminal, I was overweight again on a Ryanair flight to Turin this month. My specially booked case (£30 return for 15kg) weighed 17kg. I hadn't got my scales with me, and hoped my climbing boots would not take me over the limit. They did, so hasty and undignified repacking by the check-in desk while I replaced my light shoes with my heavy boots. The case now weighed 15kg, the check-in girl was satisfied, and the plane carried exactly the same amount of weight. Off I clomped wearing several layers of clothing, and just caught the plane.

On the way back a few days later after gloomy weather in the Aosta valley and only one brilliant day ice climbing above the clouds on the slopes of Mont Blanc, I knew to wear my climbing boots. The case was allowed through although it was just over the 15kg. This time it was the carry-on rucksack which caused the problem. I had my climbing gear in it - helmet, salopettes, crampons. Crampons! Murder weapons for sure with those nasty spikes. The lady supervisor was called. No, they would not be allowed on with me. They could be checked in. But that would cost another £30 and mean a return to the check-in desk. No matter than they had been allowed out without me attacking the pilot. No matter that I was clearly a climber with the rest of the kit. No matter that I was a 60 year old white man, hardly a high risk category. I wasn't going back so there was only one thing to do. I presented the Italian security man with his first pair of crampons. I hoped he would look embarrassed, and he did. Much good may they do him.

I am not sure if there is a general lesson in all this - except maybe don't fly at all. But that is not one we wish to promote. Maybe it is that "security" needs to be done with a smattering of intelligence. We shall see.